How To Live With a Roommate

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Living with a roommate definitely has its perks. One study by SmartAsset found that living with a roommate saves renters an average of $517 a month. Considering the tough financial times we live in, that probably means you’re likely to be living the roommate life.

But moving in with another person isn’t all sunshine and rainbows. There are also plenty of challenges and responsibilities that require communication, compromise, and respect from both parties. It doesn’t matter if you’re planning to move in with a friend, significant other, or even a stranger you met online… here’s how to do it right. 


Don’t move in before doing your due diligence

Regardless of whether you found your person through your own network, a friend, or even Facebook, be sure you do your due diligence to check their background before you move in.

Step one in moving in with a roommate is, well, finding that roommate. Some people already have a person in mind, such as a good friend. However, if you’re looking for a roommate with the goal of saving money, it’s important to take your time finding the right person. 

roommates

“While many college students prefer to use Facebook groups or room with friends, other people like to reach out to their inner circle on social media to ask if anyone’s looking for a roommate,” says Raquel Kehler of the home styling blog RoomCrush.

“If you don’t know them, offer to meet up for a coffee and a chat. This will help you get to know the person and see if their living preferences (like sleeping patterns, lifestyle, and cleanliness) will match yours.”

Safety is important. If you think you’ve met “the one,” do some homework and make sure there are no red flags. Ask for and call references, such as previous roommates, employers, or professors. A site like BeenVerified allows you to run a basic background check for a modest fee and find out if that person has a criminal record. You can never be too careful. 

Plan to downsize before the move

Chances are you own more stuff than you need. You really don’t want to start arguing about space right off the bat.

  • Make a list of what you both have: Many organization projects start with creating a list and this one is no different. Sit down with your new roomie and make a list of all of the things you each have. Do they have a microwave? Do you also have a microwave? 
  • Narrow it down: Now that you’ve got the list of everything you both own right in front of you, it’s time to start downsizing. This may simply be a game of “whose item is nicer/in better condition?” It may be hard to be objective during this time, but do your best.
  • Get rid of extra stuff: Before moving day arrives, be sure to donate all of those items you both agreed to ditch. You can check out this list of donation centers if you need some guidance.
  • Remember that compromise is key: Be willing to let go of some of your possessions in order to make your roommate happy. Hopefully, they’ll do the same. 

Not only is this whole process a pragmatic thing to do, but hopefully it can be a bonding experience too.

Set the house budget and divide the bill responsibilities

roommates

One of the most sensitive topics among roommates tends to be money. You both have a lot of expenses, many of them shared, including rent, cleaning supplies, toilet paper, and more. So who pays for what – and how?

Trust me… decide ahead of time who will own which bills, or if one person will pay them all.

 

“…living with a roommate saves renters an average of $517 a month.”

 

A common approach is doing stuff 50/50, but it’s not always the best way to go about it (more on that in a sec). Using apps such as Splittr and OurGroceries can help you easily split your bills according to whatever proportion you decide. 

You’ll also need to determine how the bills will be paid. For example,

  • One person pays for everything while the other sends their share of the bills via cash or Venmo/wire each month
  • You all divvy up the bills and each takes responsibility for paying some

There’s honestly no “correct” way to do it – as long as you do it!

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What bills should really be 50-50?

Talk stuff out as honestly as you can before anyone is upset, as emotions can run high if you feel like you get the short end of the stick three months down the line.

 

“Be honest! You can put whatever you want in your roommate agreement (as long as you both do, in fact, agree to the rules).”

 

While bills are often 50/50 as a rule of thumb, this also depends on room sizes and how each person uses the utilities,” Kehler says. For example, if both of you use the TV but only one of you watches shows on Hulu, it wouldn’t make sense for you to split the streaming services down the middle. 

“Another example is that back in college, my friend had three roommates in medical school, and they all shared the upper floor of a house, Kehler explained. “While they split the energy and utility bills 50/50, the rents were proportional to the size of the room so the roommate with the biggest room paid the highest rent.”

Have the cleaning talk before things get messy

roommates

Now that you have finances out of the way, your next biggest task is to divvy up the household chores.

The goal is to come up with a list of responsibilities and a schedule that feels fair. If one person is stuck constantly cleaning up after the other, resentment will build and arguments will undoubtedly arise. 

The most common way to sort this out is by creating a chore calendar that clearly states which roommate does what and when. Hang a whiteboard or calendar somewhere in your apartment that’s hard to miss, such as the kitchen. Visual checklists can also help you hold each other accountable.

[CLICK HERE FOR OUR FREE PRINTABLE CHORE CHART]

Chore Chart PDF

Also, be sure to outline any special rules you come up with in your roommate agreement (we’ll get to that in the next section). “You both might have differing ideas about cleanliness and what constitutes the chore being finished,” Kehler notes. “Have a short meeting where you get clear on each other’s expectations and what you will do if either of you has to miss a day.”

Go over special agreements before you move in

roommates party
How will you handle get-togethers at your place?

Setting ground rules for your shared space is important.

Some examples:

  • How do you each handle significant others or overnight guests?
  • Is there a limit on the number of times non-tenants can stay in the apartment?
  • Who gets to decide what to watch in a shared space, and when is it the other person’s turn to pick something?

Think about the types of conflicts that may come up and try to settle on a resolution ahead of time. Bringing up these issues and making the rules up on the fly could feel like a personal attack

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“If you don’t know the person well or have any concerns at all, then put a formal agreement together,” Kehler suggests. “Even friends who become business partners draft formal agreements because they never know what conflicts may arise, and the same holds true for roommates.” You also want to make sure you’re legally covered, especially in cases of damages or someone moving out early and leaving you with all the rent, she added.

Be honest! You can put whatever you want in your roommate agreement (as long as you both do, in fact, agree to the rules). In addition to general house rules, a roommate agreement can also cover: 

  • Quiet hours, especially if one of you works early or needs study time.
  • Use of common spaces, including when and what is expected in terms of keeping common spaces tidy.
  • Splitting up expenses and chores, “the official roommate agreement” is a perfect place for writing the financials out. 

Roommates who plan the process for future conflicts are more successful

In addition to setting ground rules, it’s important to discuss how you’ll handle (and resolve!) conflicts. Yes, the key is to make a process ahead of time, before you’re in the heat of the moment.

A conflict resolution agreement can spell out things such as:

  • How problems will be discussed, such as face-to-face, over text, or even a shared online space
  • Communicate areas in your life you will always prioritize, like a family issue, or a mental health issue
  • How to make progress if you were to both hit a wall (maybe you both are close to a neutral third party you might mentally assign to be a potential source of help)

Having a process to follow when you disagree will lead to more productive discussions.

Tips for Literally Living With a Roommate

roommates

Now that you have the basics down, here are a few more tips to keep in mind so that living with a roommate goes smoothly.

  • Preserve personal space. Ideally, you and your roomie get along well. Maybe you even enjoy watching TV and going out for happy hour together. Still, it’s important to remember that your roommate isn’t obligated to hang out with you. So respect each other’s need for personal space and alone time.  
  • Get creative with storage. Sometimes, downsizing isn’t enough, especially if you live in a smaller apartment or one with limited storage. So look into creative solutions that allow you to keep your prized belongings without cluttering up your space (and causing arguments). “These include getting storage bins that go under your bed, folding clothes so they fit into drawers more efficiently (we love the Marie Kondo method), and getting furniture that doubles as storage, such as a storage ottoman,” Kehler says.
  • Talk to your roommate before decorating. Everyone has their own personal style, and you probably want your living space to reflect yours. However, you should check in with your roommate before hanging a painting or adding a new end table to the living room. For one, their taste may not jive with yours, so it can be irritating to come home to clashing decor. Plus, certain decorations can cause damage to an apartment (like nail holes) that may end up costing both of you when it’s time to get that security deposit back. It’s better to confirm whether your roommate is into a certain piece of home decor before you spend the money on it.

Remember that nobody is a mind reader. Living with another person means some conflicts are bound to come up. But if you don’t share what’s bothering you, the other person may not realize that their behavior or habits are a problem. Whether it’s leaving dirty dishes left in the sink or eating your leftovers, if you’re irritated by your roommate’s behavior, you can’t assume they’re doing it knowingly unless you’ve talked about it!

The Year-Long Home Maintenance Checklist: When To Do Big Chores?

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Every year you aim to start good habits with your health, your career, your relationships. But what about your home? The space you spend time in every.single.day should receive some TLC and attention, too.

Instead of vowing to get your body in shape, let’s get your home in shape! In 2018, you may have neglected your home and we’re not judging. (I mean, who really knows the last time they changed their air filter?)

Your 2022 Home Checklist

We’ve curated a handy-dandy checklist to map out the year ahead. If you accomplish each task every month, your home is going to be a well-oiled machine. Now let’s get to it!

Note: Tasks marked with * are recurring tasks you’ll complete multiple times over the course of the year.

Winter Tasks

When you’re stuck inside due to the cold, you might as well put your downtime to good use. We both love starting the year with a nice purge. And if you haven’t seen the new Marie Kondo show on Netflix (seriously, where have you been??), then it just may give you the kick in the pants to part with all of your stuff.

While there will always be recurring tasks to complete on the checklist, the winter time is all about purging and organizing every nook and cranny in your home.

Split it up over the next 3 months and it won’t be quite as overwhelming!

January

February

  • Compile tax documents; set up a time to complete taxes
  • Purge and donate kitchen gadgets
  • Purge and donate pantry foods
  • Wipe down fridge*
  • Clean garbage disposal*
  • Change furnace filter*

March

  • Purge and organize toiletries
  • Purge and organize the linen closet
  • Check caulking around bathtubs and showers
  • Clean car inside and out*

Spring Tasks

No duh: the springtime is all about spring cleaning! You spent the past few months purging and organizing spaces in your home, but now it’s time to give everything a nice deep clean. (And don’t forget to clean these 6 overlooked areas.)

Not to mention, the springtime is the start of all your big outdoor projects. Get your lawn and garden cleaned, manicured, and ready for new life to grow. These are especially crucial because you really can’t do anything about it once you miss your window!

April

  • Get air conditioner serviced
  • Aerate lawn
  • Wash drapes, rugs, upholstery
  • Launder shower curtain and liner
  • Wash windows and screens*
  • Clear your gutters*
  • Dust light fixtures*
  • Wipe down baseboards*

May

  • Setup outdoor patio furniture
  • Inspect home’s exterior and roof for necessary repairs
  • Prune overgrown bushes
  • Clear dead plants and shrubs (early May)
  • Plant flowers (late May)
  • Change furnace filter*
  • Change batteries in smoke & CO2 detectors*

June

  • Replace outdoor lights that have burned out
  • Clean grill and check propane tank
  • Clean deck and make necessary repairs
  • Power wash sidewalks and walkways
  • Clean car inside and out*

Summer Tasks

Oh, the sweet summertime. It can be easy to let your household chores slide during the summer months. We get it, summer is about vacations and relaxing. But these are worthwhile tasks to accomplish when the temps are warmer and you’re spending more time outside (hopefully).

Also, as you near Labor Day, school will be on the mind. That’s when you’ll want to make sure your home is still organized from your hard work earlier this year. Purge paper clutter and books so you can start the school year fresh!

July

  • Fix broken screen doors
  • Add fresh mulch to landscaping
  • Organize and sweep out the garage
  • Dust light fixtures*
  • Wipe down baseboards*

August

  • Hose down garbage cans
  • Purge office and organize paperwork for the upcoming school year
  • Purge and donate books
  • Clean faucet and shower heads
  • Wipe down fridge*
  • Change furnace filter*

September

  • Service chimney
  • Empty out planters
  • Store lawn furniture
  • Clean car inside and out*
  • Wash windows and screens*

Fall Tasks

Keep that momentum going into the fall season! Fall is the time to prepare for the cold months ahead. Focus on prepping the exterior of your home to protect it against the snow and ice that will soon be here.

With the holidays approaching, this is also a time when you’re the most likely to host guests. Luckily, your home should be running smoothly with all of the work you’ve put in this year. We also encourage you to keep December a little light on the home projects, since you will most likely have limited free time.

October

  • Plant spring-blooming plants, shrubs, tall grasses, etc.
  • Remove hoses from water spickets
  • Fertilize lawn
  • Check your sump pump
  • Clear your gutters*
  • Dust light fixtures*
  • Wipe down baseboards*

November

  • Check weatherstripping on doors and windows
  • Have heating systems serviced
  • Rake and gather leaves
  • Purge pantry and donate (good timing for the holidays!)
  • Change furnace filter*
  • Change batteries in smoke & CO2 detectors*

December

  • Purge toys and books (good timing for the holidays!)
  • Purge and donate extra holiday decorations
  • Clean car inside and out*

Free Printable – Home Checklist

If you’re ready to make 2022 the best year yet for your home, then we encourage you to download or screenshot this free printable. That way, you can print it out and check things off as you go. (Trust us, there is no better feeling than checking off those little boxes!)


Illustrations by M. Dean
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