Is Homesickness Mentally Dangerous? How To Cope After Moving

During the 12th century B.C.E., a man named Odysseus experienced what might be regarded as the Western World’s first historical record of homesickness.

At least, that’s according to Homer and his epic The Odyssey. Today, people often regard homesickness as more of a fleeting feeling.

But it can also involve feelings of distress and emotional upheaval. Sometimes moving causes prolonged feelings of discomfort because the individual’s habits and support system are, well… back home. 

Here, we’ll explore what homesickness actually is, why it’s essential to confront it, and how best to manage it.

Homesickness Defined

Homesickness can be defined as a longing for home when one is away from it. It is not considered a mental health disorder.

Generally, homesickness includes the feelings of emotional or physical distress that often happen when you are separated from your loved one or your home. It is very common with changes of location, particularly people who move to a new area. In fact, some even start to feel homesickness before they actually relocate.

Facts about homesickness

• 50-70% of the general public have felt homesick at least once in their lifetime
• Research suggests that homesickness is equally common in men and women
• About 60% of first-year college students report feeling homesick

Characteristics of Homesickness

The characteristics of being homesick are both physical and mental, and can vary a lot from person to person. These symptoms may have similarities to other mental health disorders like anxiety.

Homesickness tends to affect people moving temporarily or permanently, including college students, immigrants, refugees, and military personnel.

Emotional symptoms of homesickness

• Anxiety
• Anger
• Decreased motivation or difficulty concentrating
• Feelings of depression
• Irritability

Physical symptoms of homesickness

• Sleeping too much or too little
• Eating too much or too little
• Headaches and body aches
• Low energy

Is Homesickness the Same as Depression?

Most people experience homesickness in a new environment, but it is not the same as a true mental health disorder. With that said, if homesickness persists long enough, it can lead to clinical depression and anxiety. Some people may even begin to experience physical health issues because of the chronic stress caused by their homesickness.

While most homesickness will fade with time, it is uncomfortable and can disrupt your mental wellness. Fortunately, there are things you can do to alleviate homesickness and prevent more severe feelings of depression and anxiety.

How To Cope With Homesickness

Often, a person doesn’t simply stop feeling homesick overnight, but with some healthy coping measures, they can cause these feelings to diminish until they, once again, feel a sense of normalcy. These tips can prevent or combat feelings of homesickness:

Tell someone you are homesick

Homesickness is a natural response to a physical change. While talking about it may be painful at first, sharing intense feelings with trusted friends and family can help you process them and reduce the physical and emotional impact.

Your food is probably impacting your mood

Eating balanced and nutritious foods helps with thinking clearly and feeling alert. On the other hand, eating poorly can impact your physical comfort and aggravate stress and depression. Aim to eat a healthy amount of calories and include fruits and veggies. Consider cooking recipes that remind you of home or of loved ones who you are missing. (You can even video call a friend or parent for an impromptu catch-up and cooking lesson!)

Transform your bedroom for sleep ONLY

It’s no secret that many people struggle with getting quality sleep in a new environment. Practicing good sleep habits after a move can help if you are struggling with sleeping too much or too little. Good sleep habits include using your bedroom only for sleep (not for lounging or entertainment), avoiding caffeine and alcohol before bed, and removing electronics from your sleeping space (just try it for a few days!).

Move your body to make enzymes, then download any meditation app

Exercise and meditation can help you alleviate negative emotions like sadness and loneliness. Activity triggers feel-good enzymes in the brain that can provide you with a break from your feelings of homesickness. Meditation helps you clear your mind, leading to positive feelings of rejuvenation. You’ll find it easier to cope with your homesickness when you feel better.

How To Stay Connected to Home

Sure, you’re not home, but the key isn’t actually to forget about home entirely. Here are things that have helped many people in your position.

Put a recurring video call on your calendar
When you no longer live with or near your loved ones, reaching out to connect often requires coordinating schedules. Paired with feelings of depression or loneliness, planning a time to talk can be a daunting task. Consider agreeing on a recurring weekly video call time with a small group of friends or family members so you know exactly when you’ll speak to them next.

Decorate with something from your old place
Sometimes it’s the look, smell, and feel of home that we really miss. Consider setting up a shelf or corner of your new space where you can keep special items from home and pictures of your loved ones. Creating a project out of setting up this space can be a good way to occupy some time while reliving old memories. As you create memories in your new area, add them to your keepsake shelf.

Pre-plan your return before you even move
For those struggling with low energy in a new environment, the effort needed to plan a trip home can lead to procrastination while also making you feel more homesick. Consider planning a trip home several months from your move-in date, and be sure to take that time off from work or school ahead of time. Having the visit set up ahead of time will make it more likely to happen and give you something to look forward to.

Cooking at home actually helps
You can maintain your emotional connection to home by cooking recipes you enjoyed with family at home. These foods might be related to your ethnicity or remind you of your close relatives.

How To Integrate Into Your New Area

Make yourself start a new routine
While you’re adjusting to a location change, consider making changes that force you to focus on them, preferably incorporating your new area. It’s even better if you combine them with tips from earlier! For example, you could make a goal of adding a 30-minute walk to your day to explore your new neighborhood, increase your daily water intake, or commit to cooking a new recipe once a week.

Purposely do something you’ve never done before
Engaging in a new hobby can be highly therapeutic. If you knit, garden, or read, you can give your mind a small break from its worrying thoughts or feelings of longing. Check out this list of 101 hobbies for inspiration.

Build your new social circle with these websites

Making new friends is one of the hardest parts of moving to a new area, but connecting with your community is one of the best ways to avoid feeling isolated. Here are some ways to find like-minded people in your area:

• Friendship apps like Vina and BumbleBFF approach friendship like a dating app. You make a profile, swipe yes or no to other people, and set a meetup if you both want to be friends.
• Look for local Facebook interest groups. It may sound corny, but most cities have Facebook groups and small private events for local women, hikers, book lovers, and even dog owners.
• Subscribe to your local tourism newsletter and event announcements. Attending community-centered events is a great way to get out of the house and expose yourself to culture and arts in your area.
• Get a volunteer gig! Offering to support your local animal shelter, nursing home, or other charitable organization is a sure way to meet people while giving back. (Here’s a site to find volunteer needs in your area.)

When To Get Help

While most homesickness resolves itself as you connect with your new area, it’s important to reach out for professional help if you’re having difficulty managing these feelings for an extended period of time. (There is no specific number of days, but marked discomfort for multiple months may potentially be a sign of depression.)

Professional counselors or therapists can be effective support during a difficult transition to a new home. Remember that there are also video therapy options for those having difficulty navigating a new area. Services like Talkspace and Amwell can provide you with professional help right in your home.

The bottom line is that new beginnings can lead to many new possibilities resulting in significant personal growth and opportunities. Life sends us in many different directions; seldom does it allow people to stay put forever. If you’re feeling homesick, remember that some of the distress, at least in part, may be due to change. Once you become accustomed to your new home and routine, you may still miss your home, but you will notice that the intense feelings of homesickness have begun to subside.

Use these tips to help prevent or combat feeling homesick or share them with a loved one who may be contending with homesickness, or even preemptively share them with someone that has a potential move coming soon to their life.